How to behave on an airplane 101

You'd think this would be pretty self explanatory, but I swear some people were raised in a barn.... Airplanes are public spaces. They are not your house, car or bathroom. Please act accordingly. 

This means anything that you normally wouldn't do in a public space, you REALLY shouldn't be doing on an airplane, and yes, these are real life examples... This includes, but is not limited to: 

- Clipping toenails (They fly everywhere even if you insist they don't...) 

- Waxing or plucking eyebrows/ mustache hairs (especially the waxing... And especially if you tend to lose track of the wax strips and have to rip them off the poor unfortunate soul next to you) 

- Barefeet touching everything, including but not limited to airplane lavatory floors (seriously?!? GROSS!!!) 

- Changing dirty diapers on tray tables (people eat there, come on...) 

- Regularly crop dusting the people around you (Please for all of us unfortunate souls, avoid the beans before getting on an airplane) 

- Joining the "mile high club" (Lavatories are gross, please remember that... And blankets are not publicly acceptable coverage while trying to get it on in your seat...)

- Becoming ridiculously intoxicated (it is not a bar, and to get that drunk is seriously expensive, your credit card will thank me later...)

-Puking, peeing, or pooping anywhere but in a toilet.

        - This is including but not limited to: 

          1. Puking in your hands and running up to me expecting me to do something about it besides kicking the lavatory door open for you... 

          2. Pooping on the floor. (Self explanatory, but seriously people, it's not a funny prank, it's a biohazard) 

          3. The combination of any of the above in your seat (at least let a flight attendant know on the way out, but I'm not cleaning it up, sorry...) 

-Wearing Japanese paper face masks with characters on the outside, particularly zombies (Paper masks are slightly creepy in general, but please at least warn me before you turn into a zombie while I'm walking through a dark cabin with a full tray of drinks... Unless you'd also like a shower....)

-Naked children. I understand you see this as innocent, but they wear clothes when you go outside right? So why not a plane....? 

-Losing your pets. If you pay extra to bring your dog with you, that's one thing, but please keep it in its carrier at all times... People have allergies and irrational fears. And please don't ask me to help you find your cat that you somehow miraculously managed to sneak on the plane. (Seriously, how did you get it through security and customs just to lose it now!?!) 

-Lose your children. (We've all seen Flight Plan, but seriously,  why did you decide to play hide and speak with your child on a plane with 180 other passengers trying to sleep and then panic and start screaming their name when you can't find them? Don't worry,  we found them about 12 rows back underneath some someone's legs...) 

-Unleash toxic diarrhea in the lavatory before the plane even takes off. (I understand there are questionable noodles and soup in some countries, but really? You want to take the toxic hell you just released into the lavatory WITH you on a 15 hour flight!?! Please no.) 

Yes, these were all real life examples of what happens daily on a plane. My only plea to you is to act like a regular human on a flight. Please realize you are in a public setting, and yes, people are judging you even if they say they aren't... And your friendly flight attendant sees all.... 

Please keep that in mind. WE SEE ALL. 

Now go forth, fly friendly, and pray for natural selection. 

Love, Alison

Traveling Smart?

Since I was little and started traveling, it seems like everyone always tells me to "travel smart." Now that I'm traveling more and more, it seems like there really isn't a good definition for what exactly that means... From what I've deduced, that definitely means pack light and try to blend in with the culture you are visiting. That is usually easier said than done... 

Part One: Packing Light

First of all, it truly is impossible to pack light without forgetting something you need. And this is from someone who lives out of a carry-on size suitcase. 

-My goal, LAYERS. Especially for the plane... Little secret, if it's turbulent, The heat gets turned all the way down. Warmth and bumps leads to a lot of people turning green and using those tiny little blue bags... 

-Another thing I've learned is to always pack a jacket. You might be on your way to Hawaii, but seriously, you never know. Always pack one and if you don't need it, hurray. but seriously, just pack it, you can thank me later. 

-I also always pack a charger in my purse. You never know if your bag is going to be with you on the plane or if you're going to be squashed next to the fatty on the plane and can't squeeze past to grab it, so a charger in the purse is always a good idea. 

-Shoes. I always throw a pair of comfy sandals in the back pocket of my bag along with a pair of sneakers or flats. Limit it down to one pair of shoes that are comfy enough to walk in and a pair of sandals. That's it. You do not need more than two pairs of shoes. Period. 

-Toiletries. Be smart about these. You have super limited room here, especially in some countries that are extremely strict. The hotel will have shampoo and conditioner, and chances are, if you forget anything essential here, the front desk or a convenience store down the street will have what you need. 

-Medicine. I have a pretty impressive first-aid kit hiding in my purse. People are gross on airplanes, and germs are everywhere!!!!!!! So, remember your vitamins, Advil, and cold meds. And hand sanitizer. Don't go anywhere without it. And I mean ANYWHERE. Some countries bathrooms don't have soap, so just trust me here... 

My motto when packing, it's all replaceable, so just make sure you have the necessities. Passport, phone, wallet..... And hand sanitizer.... 

Part Two: Blending In

For those of you who don't know me, I'm fairly pale, blonde, and blue-eyed girl. Lately, I've been traveling a lot to Asia... Not gonna lie, there aren't a lot of natural blondes there...

Last year, I met a random stranger I believe was named John(?) at the Louvre. He has a philosophy of being unapologetically American. For him, that was his reasoning to be exactly who he was. He was respectful to other people, as knowledgable about the cultures surrounding him he could be with his wardrobe and actions, and he made a point to at least learn a few words in the local language to help him get by, but he refused to travel and look like a ridiculous tourist with those white sneakers, and he refused to apologize for being American. I like that philosophy. I'm proud to be an American, and I refuse to attempt to blend in to the point of sticking out like a sore thumb. Sure, I will do my best, like wear darker colors in Europe and avoid those hideous white tourist sneakers, but there's only so much I can do in Asian countries. I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb regardless, so the least I can do is attempt to soften the stereotype against American tourists being ignorant and disrespectful. 

I think I fully came to this conclusion in Taipei. My hair is quite long right now, and if I'm being quite truthful, it looked AWESOME that day. Well, walking through the Taipei airport, I definitely felt like I was on America's Next Top Model. I walked by and people stared... To the point where my whole crew noticed. That trip I was the only blonde and the only woman at that.... One of my crew members just looked at me, said "Work it," sassily snapped his fingers and strutted away. 

So, if you can't blend in, be unapologetically American and work it! *snap* 

Love, Alison